Everyone thinks this school year went fast. I don’t think so. It’s been tough, emotionally, financially and physically for me. I knew it wouldn’t be easy. Playing football my freshman year and trying to get adjusted to college life just wasn’t my thing, I guess.

I feel like I wasn’t quite ready to move this far away – even though it was only 2 ½ hours. It’s not that I’m not mature or that I can handle things. Sometimes, I don’t know what I feel. They say that your freshman year is hard going for most. It was. It wasn’t awful and I met some great guys that I hope I can stay friends with for life.

But I’m not going back. I didn’t feel like I fit in. So, hopefully, wherever I end up next fall, it will give me time to sort through things and get a handle on what I want to do the rest of my life. I have been accepted to another four-year private university only ½ hour away from home. And my mom just got a new job which will take her right past the college to and from work each day. That will be nice if I decide I can afford to go there. I’m thinking, not. It’s so expensive just like this college was, and I just don’t want to keep taking out thousands of dollars in loans if I don’t know where I’m headed or what I want to do. I know I still want to be in the football world in the future. I hope to play my junior and senior years. I also still plan on working in the college football field in my professional days as a coach, trainer or something.

But for now, I just have to focus on whether or not I can afford another private college and to stay in the dorms. My mom doesn’t want me to commute back and forth. If it helps financially, then I guess I’ll have to do that even though I hate to drive.

There are always other options, too, and I know I have to get myself in gear to get it all done. There’s a four-year public university nearby, too, and two community colleges. There are lots of technical schools too, but I’m not really interested in one of those trades.

I’m just hoping right now that the factory that I worked at last summer and made a ton of money does make that call to me saying I can come back. I need it desperately. I know I can’t sit around all summer on my mom’s couch. It sounds great, but I don’t think she would welcome that too much.